Finding God’s Presence in the Midst of Motherhood
Some seasons look different than others as a mother who longs to find some quiet time to sit with Jesus. My only child is now 8, so it’s a bit easier to find the time to soak in God’s presence. Although it can also be easy to get distracted by tasks, work, and ministry to the Lord at church.
I think about when my son was little. I have never been a morning person, but God showed me that I needed to sacrifice sleep for a time to grow closer to Him and to hear His voice. I would get up at 5am and spend time with Him. Sometimes I would stay up late. A few years back, God would wake me up in the middle of the night and I was so annoyed. I just wanted to go back to sleep! But looking back now, those times were so, so sweet. I remember one of those times, it was 2am. For some reason, I feld drawn to go outside. The sky was clear and I was just staring up at the stars. God led me to pray for various people and by this time I was exhausted. But my spirit was also at peace. I was about to pick up my blanket and go back to bed when suddenly a star shot across the sky. I have never seen this before! I was in complete awe. “Wow, Jesus!” I had whispered. “Thank you. Thank you for inviting me into this moment that I would have missed if were still sleeping.”
My husband also helped out a lot. He gave me time when I asked if I could just soak in the bedroom for 20 minutes. Or go for a walk. Or go for a drive. Or to take a 25 minute shower and sing songs of praise to Jesus. Other times, I’d worship while washing the dishes, building blocks with my son, and singing lullabies while pushing him in his Little Tike swing (one of his favorites was This Little Light of Mine!). Even in moments with my child, I remember meeting the Lord through something my son would say, the wonder in something he saw, or in times of joyful laughter.
I also learned to be intentional with small chunks of time. I came across the Pause app by John Eldredge when the world was going into chaos in 2020. The pauses start at 1 minute and go all the way to 15. At that time, the app was really new, so there were only 1 minute pauses and up to 5 minutes. I made it a priority that twice a day, I would stop and I would pause with the Lord. I would play these meditational pauses—at home between tasks, between playing and taking care of my boy, and even at work I would take a couple minute break in the bathroom and take a minute or 2 to breathe with the Lord. To ask Him for strength and grace (and even now, I still do this!).
It’s in these times that I could feel His Presence. Hear His voice. See His smile. Worship has always been a place of intimacy for me with the Lord. Of allowing myself to be open to whatever He longs to give me in the moment.
When I was young in my walk with Christ, I thought my time with Jesus had to look a certain way. If I wasn’t following along to a devotional or Bible Reading plan with a notebook, 3 different colored highlighters and pens, 100% focused on the lesson and what God was trying to teach me in the moment, than I might as well pack it in. What’s the point? I’m failing at this godly woman “after God’s own heart” thing. The reality is, it’s hard to be a Bible Thumper with a baby on your hip, changing diapers about 10 times a day, and a pile of laundry that’s been there since Tuesday.
Although my Bible reading has increased significantly over the years, in which I long to be in the Word verses it being something I “have” to do, I found that meeting with Jesus doesn’t have to look a certain way. It wasn’t about following the right plan or being at the right place at the right time. Honestly, most of it came in a thousand little moments. I would see opportunities to be with Jesus and seize it as if my life depended on it. I would feel the familiar invitation of God wanting to meet with me, and instead of ignoring it or thinking it was that spaghetti I had for lunch like I sometimes did, I would take the step of faith towards God. Many times, I’d feel His Presence and other times I didn’t feel anything at all. And yet, I know that He was always there, pulling me closer than I had been before. Whether if it was 5 minutes or the rare hour, my relationship with Jesus was cultivated in the secret place. Every time I made time to spend it with Him, my roots grew stronger, deeper, and wider.
Motherhood is messy, loud, chaotic, and beautiful. We’re all just trying to find some peace in the midst of it all. As Jesus girls, we just want more time with Him. We know that is in Whom we find life and our very breath to keep going with our joy and hope intact. We want to feel His Presence, to know He is with us, and to see in some tangible way that He is holding our messy, beautiful lives together. For the mama longing for more of God’s Presence, know that I can relate. Also understand, as much as you want to meet with Jesus, He longs to meet with you even more. That is a desire He is more than happy to fulfill! I know for me, it hasn’t looked like the perfect cooker-cutter way that I thought it would. And yet, looking back at the last 8 years of being a mother, I see just how present God has been through it all. I may not have felt His Presence every day, but I know that He has always been with me. Truly, He has always been drawing me to Himself…and I know He is doing the same for you. <3