Disappointments are a real part of life. I wish it weren’t! I wish there was a way around that mountain without having to feel all the feelings that come with it.
Disappointments often occur when we encounter unmet expectations. “Well, I’ll just stop hoping and expecting good things to happen.” No! Don’t do that. We may have to lower our expectations a little, especially if they seem a bit unrealistic, but let’s not avoid them altogether. Expectations are what give us hope. It’s completely okay to expect something good to happen. Romans 15:13 tells us, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
It’s okay to hope for good things to happen. It’s okay to look forward in anticipation of God’s good plan and blessings for your life. This is what brings joy and peace into our lives—the God of hope wants us to hope!
But what happens when we encounter dashed expectations? You get that sick feeling in your chest. You feel like you lost something precious and you wonder if life will ever feel okay again. I get that. I’ve had my share of disappointments, and if there was a way to go around it, I would be the first to find the shortcut!
But there is no way around it—only through. We will encounter disappointment and we must go through the tsunami of emotions that come with it. But we don’t have to stay there. We can take our pain and our losses to Jesus. Yes, we can! And He will renew us, strengthen us, and give us peace.
One of the disappointments I faced had me on my knees in tears. I tried facing this “let-down” with grace and strength. There was a possibility that this thing I was hoping and dreaming for wouldn’t pan out. I trusted the Lord in the midst of it, but at the same time, I had readied myself in my heart to be strong if the deal fell through. I told myself I wouldn’t allow this to affect me in any way and that I would be full of joy, no matter what. I was tired of feeling let-down in this area and thought this would be a good way to deal with it. I would no longer be that girl who fell apart when things didn’t go her way. I would be strong and I would be wise.
Well, the deal fell through and I girded myself up to challenge disappointment. “Not this time,” I told it. “I trust in the Lord and I choose to be joyful despite this! You will not steal my peace.” About a couple of weeks later, I encountered serious episodes of anxiety and depression. I didn’t know what was going on! I came against the enemy and lifted my hands in worship to the Lord. This is how I fight my battles! But my depression wouldn’t leave and I would often break down into a puddle of tears multiple times a day.
Finally, I had enough. I set aside some time to spend with the Lord and process my emotions with him. I asked the Lord what was going on. I truly believed that a spirit of depression and anxiety was attacking me. As I poured my heart out to the Lord, He revealed to me that wasn’t what was going on under the surface. What was going on, then? He revealed to me that I hadn’t processed my disappointment nor grieved the loss of this dream.
I encountered this truth in a very real way that day: We cannot run away from the root of our emotions. We can either bury them and then they re-surface later (most likely in the most inconvenient of times), slap a band-aid over them with Scripture and ask the Lord to take care of it, or we can process them and identify what is going on under the surface. The latter is more time-consuming and often painful, so we try other methods that only scratch the topsoil of our hearts.
Once I poured out my heart to the Lord and processed my heartache over what I had lost, my anxiety and depression vanished. Just like that. The Lord filled me with a peace that passed all understanding. I finally had closure over the situation and I could move on with my life. And here’s the clincher: I didn’t stop hoping or believing good was coming my way! By processing my disappointment, I made room in my heart to intake more of what life threw my way—whether good or bad! We can only stack so much loss onto our overbearing hearts before we stop intaking more. We stop taking in the good along with the bad. Grieving is an essential process to keep our hearts healthy. If we don’t take the time to heal from our wounds, we risk the chance of leaving our hurts unattended. As the wounds fester and become infected without being property treated, they will lead us to problematic symptoms over time and even incapacitated in certain areas of our lives.
I encourage you, as you finish reading this post, to think of some areas that you have crossed with disappointment. Have you taken the time to process it? Whether by journaling or talking out loud, it’s good to get that bitterness off our chests and shoulders! We probably shouldn’t spew it onto poor, unsuspecting souls, but find a place or a person that you can safely process the heartache with. Take it to God and process it with Him! It’s okay to let the tears roll. This is how we heal.
May you be blessed to overflowing as you take time to pour out what is on your heart!
“Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalms 62:8)
