If you know me, I am one who loves to be busy. If you don’t know me—well, now you know. I have major things to accomplish on my to do list. Wash dishes, scrub stains off the floor (though no matter how many times I do it, it seems as though they magically re-appear ten seconds later). The laundry certaintly won’t fold itself, and there is always something random lying in the middle of the floor. Living with a husband and baby boy of 5 months in a not-so-spacious 769 square foot apartment, I know that it is nearly impossible to have a home that is completely clutter-free and emaculite.
Nevertheless, I try to fill my days with tasks between feeding and playing with the baby, and feeding myself. My eye is naturally drawn to things I deem not quite right at home, whether there is a pillow on the couch angled in a way I am not satisfied with, the chairs around the dinner table are too far out, or the cups on the counter are cluttered and I have to line them up against the wall once again. I never quite thought of myself as having OCD, especially since not everything has to be completely 100% perfect. If you don’t believe me, just look at the pile of clothes on top of my dressar I yet need to fold! It seems as though some things I let go, and others I am more critical of.
Maybe it’s the fact that I am a go-getter and a doer. Maybe it’s because the Lord placed this wonderful gift of tenacity within me. Or perhaps the reason (I am starting to be aware of) is that I want to be in control. When I begin to see things spin out of control by wanting to be in control, I take a deep breath and ask the Lord for His wisdom on how to get things back on track. Sometimes, He’ll ask me to just be at home and play with my son and not think about housework for a few hours. Other times, He’ll suggest that I read His Word and really do a self-check on my spirit. Lately, Jesus has been telling me to enjoy the quite of winter, relishing in the stillness and peacefullness of His presence.
For the first time in months, I went and did something I absolutely love: Going outside and taking pictures of wildlife. It wasn’t something I could do in two minutes flat. To take some quality good photos, I had to sit on a chair outside and become one with nature, until nature itself accepted me as one of its own. Sitting outside in the cold amidst the crystallized flurries, I understood what the Lord meant by relishing in His presence. All around me, I watched the blue jays and cardinals flutter around, grazing for seeds while the squirrels chased the nuthatch out of the bird-feeder. I glance up, and oh my! There are three cardinals in the tree above me, unaware of my presence. Three squirells chase each other up the oak, and one in particular pauses for what seems like an eternity until I snapped a photo that satisfied me. I sang along to the wondrous symphony of nature, and my heart began to sour alongside the winter song birds.
In the dead of winter, I found the Lord’s presence in the incredible creation around me. With no to-do list on my mind, I listened with my heart, and the silence was beautiful. There was something magestic in the beauty around me, and I realized it was because I decided to lay down the busyness of life to enjoy a few precious moments with my Savior. He awakened my spirit, redirecting my cluttered mind to His peacefulness.
With all of me focused on Jesus, I was able to bask in His goodness. Instead of looking around me, my gaze was fixed on my Master. I could hear Him, and He was telling me He never created me to be this burdened. He wouldn’t think less of me if I chose to skip cleaning the counters for one day. My husband wouldn’t judge me if I told him I absolutely didn’t do anything but spend time with Odis when he arrived home from work.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)
Rest…that is what I yearned for. I sometimes chose to deprive myself of this wonderful thing, believing all would crumble and fall if I didn’t do it all. I once went on a cleaning frenzy 10:00 at night for goodness sake! The Lord was calling me to rest—and when I embraced it, oh did it feel good. I felt no shame, like I believed I would. I didn’t feel pressure to get it right. I could actually do what I enjoyed without feeling regret on not getting something more useful finished.
I don’t have to conquer the world in one day. I can attempt to finish a hundred things on my list, but the list never goes away and is never really truly finished. In fact, if I allow it, I could become so focused on my tasks that I will lose the precious present moments with my family and God.
The invitation is open to all who are heavy laden and burdened. He longs to refresh us and make us new and whole. Reach out, take His yoke. You don’t have to buy it like all the things in this world advertised to bring you rest and happiness. It is not heavy or onerous. His yoke is easy and the burden is light. And it is completely free, yours for the taking.
Jesus knows you and me from the inside out. He understands that life gets hard and when life gets the best of us. Often, it feels impossible to take hold of this precious gift of rest. He never promises that life will get easy if we take hold of His yoke. He promises He will be with us every step of the way, to provide us with the strength of endurence, peacefulness, and restfulness in trying times, if only we glean onto Him.
“Come,” He invites when it seems as if there is no end to the craziness of being a mom. “Come,” He whispers when our gas tank dribbles on empty and we come to a screetching halt far from our destination. “Come,” He beckons when you’re on the verge of a psychotic break down because you’re not sure you can pay all the bills this month.
You don’t have to go it alone. Take the Lord’s invitation, if only for a few moments. Let go, let God, and allow him to walk with you through the good —and difficult circumstances of your life! Take a deep breath, and walk into the arms of rest itself.
