I am someone who has struggled and still struggles with anxiety. My anxiety is often triggered when something happens that’s outside of my control. Feelings and thoughts swirl around, but at its core, I have discovered much of what triggers my anxiety is the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness. I have a “fix-it” mentality. My…
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Disappointments are a real part of life. I wish it weren’t! I wish there was a way around that mountain without having to feel all the feelings that come with it. Disappointments often occur when we encounter unmet expectations. “Well, I’ll just stop hoping and expecting good things to happen.” No! Don’t do that. We…
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A Story of Healing It was 2021. The world was just opening after Covid. Masks, cleaning, and cleanliness laws were still in place. The world was still a bit of a strange place. I was a young mom of two boys at that time. My children were two and just over one year old. I had…
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I first heard these words, purposeful suffering, during one of my audio-guided runs called “Get In Your Head.” This interval speed run was intense—one minute at an almost-sprint pace, with a one-minute recovery; two minutes at an almost-sprint pace, with a one-minute recovery—3 sets of these. Two coaches were motivating me during this run with…
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The first time I had an anxiety attack, I was 16 years old and just weeks away from starting my junior year. My grandpa was visiting with us from Chicago and we were making plans to go bowling with him that day. I was so excited! Partly because I just returned from a two-month trip with…
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I remember the first time I danced for Jesus. My 6-month-old son was sleeping in his crib and I was using that opportunity to catch up on a pile of dirty dishes. The Bluetooth speaker was on a worship playlist, and I felt this peace resonate in my soul, humming along. Then the song “In…
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Have you ever yelled at God? Like, shake-a-fist-in-the-air, scream-on-top-of-your-voice, whilst tears-fall-down-your-cheeks kind of yell? I have, and it wasn’t pretty. I’m sure some neighbors of ours were thinking of calling the 911 line for a domestic disturbance (you know, the cattle and goats next door?). Though it wasn’t pretty, it was much needed. My yells…
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In the time that I married my husband over five years ago, I never had such unexpected chaos happen in such a short amount of time—all in the expanse of about a month. It started when my dad unexpectedly passed away while we were on vacation. Our trip was re-routed so we could fly to…
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“You are a terrible mother.” It’s one thing to have someone voice this hurtful opinion straight to my face (and thankfully no one has), it’s another when I tell my own self this. It was two weeks after the pain in my back had started, sending me to my chiropractor, with questions and tears. The…
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It’s a tricky thing when you believe you have forgiven someone, but then that grudge and contempt creeps back in unknowingly. This is what Jesus tells me: FORGIVENESS IS ONGOING. Sometimes it takes more than going through the forgiveness-process one time. Sometimes, you have to forgive over and over and over and over again until…
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