“Here I will stand in your Presence in my true identity…doesn’t it sound just like heaven?”~Brandon Lake Just Like Heaven
Comparison is something I struggle with almost everyday. One of my weaknesses is lack of security in myself, my abilities, and my appearance. This is something that Satan has been hitting me since I was a little girl.
I began believing it. I believed it so much that I couldn’t see past the flaws.
Because of this, I tend to look around—not for inspiration to become a better version of myself, but comparison on qualities I lack and wish to acquire. Since I came to Jesus with my brokenness, He has started to heal my heart, putting an end to the lies. He has called me beautiful, chosen one, and made with a purpose for a purpose. As long as I continue looking up and strengthening my relationship with Jesus, I find my security in Him. I tend to compare less when I understand and accept who I am in Christ.
Leah from Genesis is a woman I think about often when it comes to insecurity and beautiful brokenness. She was the oldest of Laban’s two daughters: her and Rachel. She was described as someone who had “tender eyes”, while Rachel was described as attractive in appearance and beautiful. Now we don’t exactly know what the author meant by “tender eyes”. It could mean that she had light eyes in appearance, or kind, gentle eyes. It could mean that she perhaps could not see well—she was physically weak. There are many cultural ideas of the meaning behind this, and I think each one is entitled to their personal interpretation. What I personally believe is that her eyes were “marked by, or expressing the softer emotions” (Webster’s Dictionary). They were windows to her soul, which pointed to a kind, loving, and gentle spirit.
No doubt that when Jacob came along, he chose to have Rachel as his betrothed, even when Leban, their father, told Jacob he had to work seven years to have her. When the seven years were up, Jacob woke up to find that Lebon sneakily placed the older daughter, Leah, by his side the night of their wedding day instead of the promised Rachel.
So Jacob said to Leban, “What is this you have done to me? Wasn’t it for Rachel that I worked for you? Why have you deceived me?” (Genesis 29:25)
Leban answered, “It is not the custom in this place to give the younger daughter in marriage before the first born. Complete this week of wedding celebration, and we will also give you this younger one in return for working yet another seven years for me.” (Genesis 29:26)
In the end, after those second seven years were completed, Jacob finally received the promised Rachel as his wife. It mentions in the Bible as well that Jacob “loved Rachel more than Leah.” (Genesis 29:30)
Imagine the insecurity Leah must have felt, placing second to her beautiful sister. Not even when she had Jacob all to herself during the seven years he was working for Leban so he could wed Rachel did she fully captivate his heart.
We are not here to blame Jacob for everything he had done. There is more going on in that story than we are aware of, and I am sure he had his reasons for choosing Rachel. We are here to talk about a woman of brokenness and insecurity, who more than likely felt inferior to her sister and inadequate. She did all she could, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not capture her husband’s heart.
She could not find her worth on earth, so she had to turn to the One who saw her as perfect, captivating, and beautiful. The One who never put her in second place. Leah had to turn to the Lord and find security in the one who created her for a wonderful purpose!
Leah had to stop comparing herself to her sister, and had to lay the lies that were whispered to her by Satan down before the Lord. She had to lay her heart at His feet. And than she had to start believing she was precious.
Friends, Jesus calls you beautiful! He prizes you far more than the most priceless jewel on earth. He cherishes you. I took the liberty of finding that word in the dictionary to get a deeper feeling for it. Cherish has a few different meanings; each and every one is powerful, but the last definition was the one that captured my heart the most.
- A: to hold dear: feel or show affection for B: to keep or cultivate with care and affection: NURTURE.
- B: to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely (resolutely means bold, steady)
Can you just imagine this? The Lord cherishes each and every one of us. And by that, he harbors us deeply and steadily in his mind and heart. The love he has for us is steady, unwavering and unchanging.
There is nothing and nobody on this earth who can cherish us and love us like our Jesus. While everyone else may look at the surface and pick and choose what they like, than throw out or reject what they don’t find beautiful and acceptable, the Lord cherishes every part of us, even the ugly broken parts. We are a beautiful, messy garden to Him that He can’t just wait to dig into and prune, creating something extravagant!
This verse just shows how much the Lord cares for us and our desires:
“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, He enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless.” (Genesis 29:31)
Now if that isn’t praise-worthy, I don’t know what is! The Lord looked into the deepest recesses of Leah’s heart and saw someone who felt undesirable, hopeless, and unloved—and He came through for her! He gave her numerous children (three in fact), which in that timeframe was a reason to celebrate (women’s main contribution was to provide children for her husband)! He provided her with something amazing that only He could do himself, and it was better than Leah could ever have dreamed of.
Do you ever feel unwanted and unworthy? Do you ever feel like you need to become what the world wants you to be? Do you believe you don’t have the skills and talent to succeed? Do you ever feel like a “Leah” in a world of “Rachaels”?
Beautiful soul, what you hear and what you see isn’t what the Lord sees. “Your Maker is your mirror” as Steven Furtick from Elevation Church proclaims. You were made in God’s image, which means who you see looking back at you is a reflection of the beautiful soul of our Savior. Keep looking up child, and know that Jesus calls you beautiful.
